The Albertan

stuckinabucket: Poison dart frog (Dendrobates tinctorius) You...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 17:10:31 -0400

Poison dart frog (Dendrobates tinctorius)

You probably know about these guys because they’re really tiny and really pretty and crazy toxic. (Alkaloids again! Everything is alkaloids!) Well, did you know they don’t lay their eggs in water? Nope. (Not all amphibians do. Sometimes it’s because water’s not as safe as land, and sometimes it’s because there’s just not enough stable pools.) The girls lay them in moist areas, the boys help guard them, and then the parents carry their tadpoles to pools of water once they hatch.

Mom swings by at set times and lays unfertilized eggs for them to eat if they’re in a location where they’re unlikely to be able to feed themselves properly, which is just unbelievably metal. Like, fucking whoa. Amphibians, right? Also, usually if you see frogs or toads looking like they’re hugging it out, they’re, well, hugging. It’s a mating behavior called amplexus. Some amphibians even have specialized weirdo frog-fingers to help them hold on, or extreme sexual dimorphism because that way the dude-frog can just hang on for like, ever, and nobody starves or gets eaten by a bird.

Arrow frogs don’t do this as a mating behavior. The boys just fertilize the eggs once they’re laid. If an arrow frog is hugging another arrow frog, it’s because they’re throwing down over mates or nesting sites. Girl-fights can end with the winner fucking eating the loser’s eggs right in front of her. Exhibit A in the case of These Frogs vs. Fucking Around.

Did I mention that they carry the tadpoles to their new homes on their backs? Yup. Specially-secreted sticky mucous. Like, they sweat glue, and I guess roll on their offspring, and then hike them up a tree. (Other frogs and toads also sweat glue, but it’s fear-sweat and used for the less-rad purpose of annoying snakes out of their lunch.)

Like most animals that use alkaloids to ward off predation, the frogs don’t synthesize their own.* They eat things containing them and then store them to make themselves unpalatable, which means that most captive-raised frogs can be safely annoyed if you’re the sort of jerk that likes harassing tiny frogs.

I mean, it’s not like they can do much about it. They’re tiny.

*You can break this down to the level of “what the definition of ‘is’ is” arguments when you get to animals that, like, retain symbiotic, maternally-transmissible colonies of poison-producing bacteria in special glands that empty into venom sacs for the animal to use, but Jesus Christ.

If you aren’t following stuckinabucket at this point I would suggest re-evaluating your life choices.

stuckinabucket: Behold, birds who have lost the ability to...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 18:06:15 -0400

stuckinabucket:

Behold, birds who have lost the ability to can!

Just kidding, guys. These birds are just trolling the hell out of ants. I really, really wanted to show you this clip of a Galapagos finch or something harassing the shit out of formica ants and then being all “Yes, yes, bathe me in your fury! Your chemical defenses are now my own! Mwahahahaha!”, but the closest thing I could find is this video of David Attenborough pissing off some wood ants. It was basically like that, only instead of an Englishman with a stick, it was a bird stomping around with its wings spread just being an absolute asshole about everything.

This behavior is actually called anting, and there are two types of anting that birds can engage in. One is just anting, where birds will rub ants all over themselves to get that precious, precious formic acid all up in their feathers. They’ll also do it with mothballs, cigarette butts, and certain sorts of beetles and millipedes. The other one is passive anting, where a particularly lazy bird will find an anthill and just flop down on it with all their feathers spread and puffed and annoy the ants until they hop to and try to make them leave, at which point the bird rubs its wings together and goes “Yeeeeeess.”

They do this to get rid of external parasites, because external parasites are annoying. Ant-eating birds who do this are getting a two-for deal out of it, because they get the ants to empty their acid sacs in a beneficial location (the bird’s feathers) and then get to eat them without having to deal with the acid in their crops, so it’s basically like if your bug-spray or deoderant came in a bacon bottle.

Formica ants get the brunt of this, because they’re super-common and quite frequently spray the acid instead of trying to inject it, so the bird can get itself doused and then preen it into its feathers. Considering the spraying of acid is like the ant way of saying “Oh my god go away you dickhead I hate you we all hate you why are you still here jesus christ what is wrong with you,” we can be reasonably sure that they’re not super-thrilled by this bird behavior. Since the birds keep doing it, we can be reasonably sure that they don’t care about the ants’ feelings.

Photo

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:51:53 -0400

Bug report: Twitter API returning results that do not respect arrow of time.

Wed, 29 May 2013 12:48:53 -0400

Bug report: Twitter API returning results that do not respect arrow of time.:

lastontheboat:

The most entertaining bug report you will ever read, guaranteed.

stuckinabucket: maladydee: Inarticulable: Man, Batman: TAS stuckinabucket: I think Justice League...

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:21:49 -0400

stuckinabucket:

maladydee:

Inarticulable: Man, Batman: TAS

stuckinabucket:

I think Justice League meetings are where Batman goes to let his jerk flag fly. Like, Superman in his own show and Superman on Justice League are more or less the same guy. Batman on Justice League is all “You are superheroes, sack up and get it done, goddammit.” Batman in his own show?

saves…

Clearly I need to start watching batman: tas and justice league YESTERDAY.

It’s weird how Batman: TAS seems to make a point of ending on a solid up-note while Superman: TAS doesn’t really do it as often. Like, the up-note on Superman tends to be “bad guy going (back) to jail” or Superman beating somebody. The up-note on Batman is “whole damn family reconciled/reunited” or a general “things’ll work out” scene.

Batman just can’t handle more than two teammates at once without becoming a jerkass.

Training to work together?

Batman: Call me when it’s important. (actual words).

Super Secret Space Death Ray fires into city?

Rest of team: We should surrender to authorities and take responsibility for this.

Batman: Ha ha No.

Team Banishes Dangerous Superman Clone to Phantom Zone?

Batman: You guys are power hungry tyrants

Shayera Hol has a date with Hawkman?

Batman: He’s totally a stalker.

Batman: I checked.

Me: Know what’s in this jug? Mr E: Water. Or homeopathic lemonade.

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 16:43:36 -0400

Me: Know what’s in this jug?

Mr E: Water. Or homeopathic lemonade.

Watching Seven Psychopaths

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 19:54:27 -0400

stuckinabucket:

“A serial killer who only kills mid- to high-ranking members of the Mafia!”

The Punisher. You precious idiots are describing the Punisher.

To be fair, I don’t think the Punisher ever let rank bother him.

dr-squish: ARE YOU SERIOUS SUPERMAN Well, it’s not like a...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:35:22 -0400

dr-squish:

ARE YOU SERIOUS SUPERMAN

Well, it’s not like a razor would work.

Though Gillette is working on a kryptonite razor.

It has six blades.

What rights should Dzhokhar Tsarnaev get and why does it matter?

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:36:56 -0400

What rights should Dzhokhar Tsarnaev get and why does it matter?

Today's Best Videos (April 19, 2013)

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 12:15:53 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

Goat Thinks It’s a Chicken

How Animals Jump

Raccoon vs. Water Hose

News Anchors Mock Ryan Lochte After Interviewing Him

Jack Carroll’s Stand-up Comedy Routine on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’

Baby Goat and Cat Playing on Stairs

True Facts About The Duck (NSFW)

The last one talks about the corkscrew penis thing! Relevant to a months old conversation!

carcino-genetics: voiceofwind: Still the most important video...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 17:20:49 -0400

carcino-genetics:

voiceofwind:

Still the most important video on the entire internet don’t kid yourself by thinking otherwise

your move, blendtec…

I don’t quite understand why they used tampons.

stuckinabucket: The Weddell seal has two expressions:...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 15:55:45 -0400

stuckinabucket:

The Weddell seal has two expressions: Absolutely Adorable and Silently Judging You. This is, however, common to the vast majority of seals, so it’s not exactly the most newsworthy thing on the planet.

The newsworthy thing about Weddell* seals is where they come from. See, these motherfuckers live in the Antarctic. And not just like “Oh, yeah, we live around there, it’s cool, man.” They are the only mammal hardcore enough to live as far south as they do, and they’re unique among seals in preferring to live on shore-fast ice instead of pack ice.

You know how they survive that far south?

They spend the entire winter in the water, with just their noses poking out of their breathing holes.

You know how they keep their breathing holes from closing up?

They bite the fuck out of them on the regular.

No, seriously, guys. They get all up in their and they just bite the dick out of the ice. They bite Antarctic winter ice apart to make their front porches.

You might think this is kind of a thing, like “Who’s this goofy seal think it is, living in the Antarctic and biting the shit out of the ice like that? The Antarctic is for half-ton murder machines like the leopard seal.”

Above: The half-ton murder machine known as the leopard seal.

And this is sort of fair, because Weddell seals are like one of the most chill seals ever. They do not give a shit. They’re like “Humans? Yeah, sure, come on, bro, hang out with us.”

The thing is that Weddell seals are the most chill seals ever because they can afford to be, because they live in a place where you would have to be literally insane to try to fuck with them. Killer whales? Can’t go there. Leopard seals? Can’t go there. Penguins? Not big enough to start anything. Everything else? Frozen solid. Like, these seals can fuck so loud that you can feel the ice vibrating, have twins if they want to, and then have something like an 80% success rate at getting their pups to independence and 60% success rate for actual adulthood.

(Just so we’re clear, here, other seals’ pups are basically orca-chow and shark-bait on the flipper. Weddell seals’ ability to get their babies out of the house alive is comparatively fucking bananas.)

The dude seals are smaller and get ladies’ attention by biting the nicest breathing holes in the ice, presumably while also dropping the bass about their superior ice-biting skills. The lady seals are bigger, give birth faster than you brush your teeth, and produce milk that’s 60% fat like a boss. The baby seals can swim within two weeks and hunt on their own at three months.

The drawback to the idyllic ice-biting lifestyle they’re rocking is a little grim, though. See, those teeth they use to keep their breathing-pits open during the howling gale of winter when it’s like five million below zero do not actually keep growing. They get worn and ground down and broken and so forth by the constant struggle against the elements that is the Weddell seal’s existence, which means that they can’t hunt properly or keep their breathing-holes open. Which means, you know, that they tend to cash out and go bite the hell out of the Great Ice Floe in the Sky (I think we can safely make certain assumptions about the afterlife of virtuous seals at this point.) before a human of the same age has had a chance to realize that student loans are a trap constructed by The Man. Basically, Weddell seals take the whole “Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse” thing extremely seriously, and it is reportedly one of the few things that a Weddell seal will actually fight you over.

*They take their name from James Weddell, who’s one of those British dudes from the 1800s who zoomed around the globe screaming “Everything I can see is now named after me!” from the prow of a ship, much to the confusion of everyone who might have already been living there and calling things something other than that dude’s name. Case in point: Weddell seals were first discovered in the Weddell Sea, which is where you go if refuse to do the reasonable thing and stop going south once you hit Weddell Island. Because everything Weddell is in the Antarctic, he may have caused the least consternation to local populations, as penguins and leopard seals do not really care what humans call things.

learntocheat: postmodernismruinedme: feminerdism: A message...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:19:36 -0400

learntocheat:

postmodernismruinedme:

feminerdism:

A message from Traditional Canadians for the Preservation of the Traditional Definition of All Things Traditional. [x]

The scariest thing is that I wasn’t sure until like five panels in that this was a joke.

As a Canadian, I’m going to point out that this is Rick Mercer. He’s a openly gay satirist from Newfoundland and is generally considered the most adorable man on television. This skit was freaking hilarious.

awwwwww it makes me sort of sad that not everyone knows of the amazing political commentary that is Rick Mercer. I mean, you don’t really know the leader of the official opposition until you’ve seen them zip-line with Rick Mercer, let me tell you.

Can we pause for a moment of silence, to remember when 22 Minutes was still good and politicians trembled in fear at the approach of Mary Walsh clothed in Xena costume and ineffable BAMFhood.

Wrong End of the Telescope: I have been ready to go for an hour. Everything is done except for the...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 14:50:42 -0400

Wrong End of the Telescope: I have been ready to go for an hour. Everything is done except for the...:

sentientcitizen:

thealbertan:

sentientcitizen:

I have been ready to go for an hour. Everything is done except for the part where I literally walk out the door to the train station, all the while praying my bag is light enough that the VIA people will let it on board. (I don’t have any way to weigh it, and it’s not like I have any way to make…

You never got stressed about Christmas? We had to sit through nearly two hours of church service (I’m not making that up, Pastor Tom was… thorough) before we could open presents.

Present-opening occurred at the crack of dawn. There was no church on Christmas morning. AS IT OUGHT TO BE.

The best was when Christmas landed on Saturday, because we had the Christmas Eve service on Friday, the Christmas Day service on Saturday, and then regular Sunday service. Plus the Christmas Pageant earlier in the week. Or possibly on Christmas Eve. I can’t remember.

Wrong End of the Telescope: I have been ready to go for an hour. Everything is done except for the...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:33:45 -0400

Wrong End of the Telescope: I have been ready to go for an hour. Everything is done except for the...:

sentientcitizen:

I have been ready to go for an hour. Everything is done except for the part where I literally walk out the door to the train station, all the while praying my bag is light enough that the VIA people will let it on board. (I don’t have any way to weigh it, and it’s not like I have any way to make…

You never got stressed about Christmas? We had to sit through nearly two hours of church service (I’m not making that up, Pastor Tom was… thorough) before we could open presents.

buzzfeed: I make all of these faces when I eat chicken nuggets...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 04:34:34 -0400

buzzfeed:

I make all of these faces when I eat chicken nuggets too.

waiterjoy: someone wanted this rebloggable

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 04:31:37 -0400

waiterjoy:

someone wanted this rebloggable

vieux-yeux: malformalady: A great white shark breaches the...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:33:04 -0400

vieux-yeux:

malformalady:

A great white shark breaches the surface and bites down on a decoy seal off Seal Island, South Africa. The startling image shows the power of the shark as it hits its ‘prey’ at full speed.

Photo credit: Chris McLennan/Barcroft Media

Awesome.

For Essie

victusinveritas: drunkonstephen: How do YOU view the Republican...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 04:04:11 -0400

victusinveritas:

drunkonstephen:

How do YOU view the Republican party survey.

STEPHEN COLBERT JUST KNOCKED IT OUT THE PARK.

pbump: A gigantic data leak reveals the details of numerous people who hid money in the British...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:41:24 -0400

pbump:

A gigantic data leak reveals the details of numerous people who hid money in the British Virgin Islands.
Via @gernotwagner